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Post-birthday post

On the 7th I had a meal and a night out with my fabulous work buddies, on the 8th I had a family meal at a really nice hotel and saw some alpacas, and today, the 10th, I’m waiting to be picked up for another meal to celebrate my birthday. As for my actual birthday, the 9th was a pretty empty day.

So as I sat in bed hoping someone was free at 9:30pm (they weren’t) I ended up thinking about what I could do with the next few years. Turns out there are a few new things I’d like to do before I hit 25, so I made a list. Everyone likes lists.

  • Get to more gigs. This was the main point, the start of the list. I’m currently sat on 20 gigs after I went to see Slipknot last month, not including festivals. I’d like to get that up to 25 by the end of the year, but it depends on which bands are touring that remain on my list, as seen below. I accept that gigs like Oasis and Guns N Roses are a little less likely to happen than some of the newer people on that list, but I still have plenty of options.
Taylor Swift being the obvious first choice.

Taylor Swift being the obvious first choice.

  • Go see an international sports match. With the Six Nations back on and rugby and cricket World Cups coming up I’d love to go and see an international game of some kind. Preferably England, preferably football or cricket, but with the football World Cup in France next year I’m thinking something might happen for that. I’m gonna lump in see a football match in a foreign stadium to this one, because noone wants to read boring sports talk for two whole bullet points.
  • Oktoberfest. Fingers crossed for this year, since I’ve always wanted to go out to Germany somewhere and get involved in Oktoberfest. It just seems like such a cool fun thing to do, totally carefree. Sounds like a perfect match for me. Plus beer.
  • Travel. Kinda linked to the previous point, but I plan on going to many places and seeing many things in my life. Vietnam, Bulgaria, Italy, Spain and New Zealand are top of the travel diary right now. Ideally, I’d have enough money to buy a VW camper and just drive around Europe discovering everything ever.
  • Watch a Grand Slam match live. Oops, may have lied about keeping all the sport to one bullet point… Anyway, tennis is one of my favourite sports and I love the Grand Slam seasons, currently gearing up towards the French after more Murray disappointment in Australia. Obviously, Roland Garros and Wimbledon are the two more likely Slams I’ll be going to, since they’re both on the same continent as me.
  • See Slipknot again. This is basically a way of sliding in the videos of mine from Slipknot’s gig in Glasgow a few weeks ago, but I really would like to go back and see them with standing tickets. The sheer energy and crowd involvement and just the show as a whole was epic. Vids are (hopefully) below. Volume may need turned up as for some reason the sound is pretty quiet.

  • More tattoos! A very long standing objective of mine, there always seems to be something that I’d rather spend my money on. Still, I’ve dreamed up a couple more designs so hopefully when I crawl out of my overdraft I can go ahead and spend my way straight back into it. I’d also like plugs or snakebites before I get too old..
  • Write at least one full length story/novel. A nice challenging one, I’d love to turn one of the many ideas or short stories I have lying around into a proper, full book like what grown ups write. Maybe I’ll write one about superheroes so I can make enough money from film rights to do everything else on this list.

Hopefully I’ll be away to Slam Dunk Festival this year, which will knock off some of those bands. Hopefully also I can cross off all those bands in four years, to make way for the next list I’ll have no doubt assembled.

So by my next major milestone I will have each of these checked off in some form or other. No idea when I’ll be back on here to post again, maybe when I do one of these! Or something else exciting happens to me. Til then..

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Musical discoveries

This is going to be a very short post, but I had to do something different since I’ve only had my regular weekly things out the last couple of weeks.

Basically, I am a man of many musical preferences. I’m not entirely sure where I get it from to be honest, where does anyone get their musical taste from?

Anyway, the other day I was thinking about how I only have one or two songs by a certain band on my iPod, and realised a couple of them got there through other means than listening to the radio or albums.

These first two I heard many many years ago, as you will see from the references to where I heard them.

Kasabian – Club Foot

PES. Yes before I took my current job as FIFA pro I used to be a PES player. It just used to be better! That’s the reason I play with alternate controls these days on FIFA, that and the fact I’m left-handed. I had every Pro Evo until 5, which I think this song was on. Nothing has yet beaten FIFA 2000 though.

 

Papa Roach – Blood Brothers

I picked this song up from another awesome old PlayStation game, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2. Not sure entirely why Papa Roach and various other songs played throughout the entire city as you skated around, but it made the game more fun. Maybe we were listening through our skater’s headphones to the same six songs over and over…

 

These next three songs I’ve picked up in the last year or so, so while Kasabian and Papa Roach now feature heavily on my iPod, these ones sit all alone, poor mites.

Swiss Lips – U Got The Power

Right now this and Pompeii by Bastille are my two frequently played songs. I first heard this on a BBC Three advert for the Women’s Euro 2013 football tournament. An odd channel to find football, an odd way to find a good song.

 

AWOLNATION – Sail

This one started off as a 10 second outro on FIFA Youtuber Calfreezy’s videos. I wondered for a few weeks what on earth it was, and wasn’t sure it was an actual song at first. Then through reading many comments over many videos I finally checked it out. It’s weird, but a good song.

 

Five for Fighting – Chances

I heard this first about two years ago when Alex and I started watching wrestling again for some reason. Shawn Michaels was going into the Hall of Fame, and I was very excited as he was like the best wrestler ever when I watched it when I was little. For the montage of his induction they used this song, and it was so epic I needed it.

 

Ah, memories of Tony Hawk and wrestling being cool coming flooding back as I put these videos in. That HBK one is well worth a watch for anyone who used to watch it back in the 90’s and 00’s.

Turns out to be a decent length post, make a liar out of myself why don’t I.

I have more lists of varying sizes at this link here, and more music posts here.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

My greatest fears

During a midnight pre-bedtime conversation with Emily, the topic of a certain shared fear was discussed. I therefore felt it would make people happy if I shared with everyone a list of things I am scared of. Or bum everyone out who reads this. It’s a risk I’m sure you’ll take.

I’m not so bad on much really, stuff like scary movies, ghosts and walking through dark woods and streets at night don’t really bother me. Most of the things on this list are concepts, what ifs that may or may not happen.

Spiders. I can’t be alone here. I’m fine with small ones, ones that I can get with a napkin or toilet roll or such like. Mid-sized ones I can even get with a glass if there on the floor or table or something. Just those absolutely monstrous things that exist only to fill our lives with torment. Those guys have to be called house spiders don’t they, couldn’t call them outside spiders or three miles underground spiders.

Going bald. The conversation with Emily that started this whole list was about being bald. I know what you’re thinking, how can a girl go bald? Can a girl go bald? I honestly don’t know, but if I were a girl I think I’d still be frightened of losing my hair. Ever since I decided to grow it it’s probably been the main reason people like me. If it starts to recede I’m going to defy its wishes and just go full Hulk Hogan with it. Only without the pythons and steroids and handlebar moustaches and insufferable offspring.

Disapproval. This has just been added last minute, as another couple of conversations has made me wonder why I haven’t got a tattoo yet. Main reasons being cost, and whether one person will even like it and another person will rip off all of my arm or just the skin that has the tattoo on it. The first person being Jess, second being mother. But just in general, I don’t worry about what most people think, just the ones that I care about. They tend to make me think twice about any big decision though.

Getting fat. I don’t look very nice as it is, so being even fatter wouldn’t really help. It’s not the most terrifying thing I can think of, just something I’d rather avoid. I don’t want to be a big beer bellied 40 year old, rather still be in some kind of shape. Good thing I never go out at uni. Also being fat means I’ll be even more unfit than I am now, I would like to stay somewhat mobile for all my life.

Being jobless. This isn’t so much an immediate problem, nothing to do with the fact I may not have a job for much more of the summer. More to do with me having only one more year of uni left before I have to actually go out and find full time work. Finding 10 hours a week took over 20 applications, so how or where I’m going to find a full time job to support myself when I move out is very scary. The whole moving out of my mum’s house idea in general frightens me, but in a good way.

Jess going away. This was called losing Jess, but that seemed too soppy even for me. Although I suppose I’m not really that much of a lovey dovey sort of guy, more just an idiot, which amounts to the same thing I suppose. I am very very happy and I would like it to stay this way for ever and ever. Plus it’s like half price rent and car insurance and stuff, although that is counterbalanced by an enormous shoe budget.

Death. Obviously. I have made sure I’m not the only person who will sit there every few weeks and just think about what will happen to me when I die. Whether there is an afterlife or reincarnation or just nothingness. I hope the latter doesn’t happen as I hate sitting still for a film that goes over 150 minutes, let alone doing nothing for all eternity. Also makes me think of the people in my family who I know I’m going to outlive, and deluding myself into thinking I’m prepared.

Sorry if this list has made you think about all this future dread, especially the last one. Asking someone what they think happens after you die is a bit like asking a friend to imagine their parents having sex. Sorry if that bummed you out as well.

Long post. If anyone can be bothered reading any more things by me please look at my home page. I have a lot more lists that are collecting in this page/link here.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

A list: Go-to songs #1 – 5.4.13

This is a new list of things. Probably the last post I’ll get out before uni time again, yay.

Before I go to sleep I like to put my iPod in and put some of my favourite songs on. At the moment these are the ones I scroll onto when I can be bothered, otherwise I just go shuffling on through for about 200 songs.

Walk – Foo Fighters (Wasting Light, 2012)

Currently learning this on guitar, so will probably be sick of it before long, but for now I’m very much enjoying it. More like classic Foos than anything else on Wasting Light.

You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance – A Day To Remember (For Those Who Have Heart, 2008)

Went through my ADTR phase listening to What Separates Me From You, so this album is still repeat-free for me. A little heavier than what I usually like for vocals, but it’s good for once in a while.

Semi-Charmed Life – Third Eye Blind (Third Eye Blind, 1997)

This song, and pretty much this whole album, reminds me of the film Yes Man. Obviously because of the ledge scene where Jim Carrey sings Jumper. I’m sure this one is on an American Pie film too though.

Pocket – Biffy Clyro (Opposites, 2012)

Yup, still listening to this album. Pocket has become my top listening song from it, primarily because it’s less than three minutes and is poppy and bouncy and fun. Not as good as Biblical though.

3 Cheers For The Easy Life – Deaf Havana (Meet Me Halfway, At Least, 2009)

Last one, love the vocals towards the end of this song. Not an album I’ve really had much listen time for, but I love this and Friends Like These, they can be a little too screamy sometimes.

Hooray for lists, here are some more: Creepy or Common 1, Creepy or Common 2, Top 22 Albums 1, Top 22 Albums 2, Top 10 Actors.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Creepy or common: Part two

It’s been quite a while coming, but here finally is part two of the post that got me right loads of views.

So since I enjoyed that last list so very much, and had a couple funny conversations and some interest out of it, I thought I would bring some more potentially odd things to the people of the internet.

This list is also a collaboration of sorts, my friend Raa decided to pop up and offer a couple of wonderfully quirky things, so I have included her suggestions in here. Enjoy.

1. When scratching your ear you find a little bit of wax on your finger, and think it might be a good idea to lick said finger.

2. Rub closed eyes to make patterns that look like a Windows Media Player visualiser.

3. Lifting your arm til the blood drains out, and laughing at the paleness before the blood returns to your arm in a wooshy fashion. (raa)

4. When watching a horror film, block out most of the TV so you can just see a small corner, so it still counts as watching the film.

5. Practise telekinesis, in the hope you will be able to fend off a zombie apocalypse. (raa)

6. See someone walking ahead of you and pull faces at them, sometimes follow them with a strange walk until remembering where you are supposed to be going.

7. Sing in a far higher pitch than required because it’s just more awesome.

8. Put your hand on something dangerously hot, just to make sure it is still dangerously hot.

9. Worry that your farts will weaken the rump of your jeans.

10. When driving, start an impromptu drum solo while stopped at a set of traffic lights.

Part One of this series type thing can be found by clicking these words.

Other lists I have done are here: Top 10 Actors, Top 22 Albums – Part One and Part Two

A list: Top 22 Albums, 11-1

Part two of my big ol’ album list is done. Upon putting dates on all the entries to part one, which is here, and this one, I realised that only three of them come from outside the 2000-09 decade, and only five are British.

Never mind, onwards with number 11.

11. City of Evil – Avenged Sevenfold (2005)

Seize the Day, Trashed and Scattered, Sidewinder

The first A7x album to wander away from screamy metalcore, and I am forever grateful. Most of 2008 was spent with this on.

10. All We Know Is Falling – Paramore (2005)

Pressure, Emergency, Here We Go Again

Has to be here, it was the reason I went to my first gig. Plus when you’re a 14 year old boy how can you not like it? Exactly.

9. Handwritten – The Gaslight Anthem (2012)

“45”, Mae, Mulholland Drive

The only album on the list from this decade, I bought it before last year’s Leeds fest and now it rarely leaves the CD player in my car.

8. The Eminem Show – Eminem (2002)

Square Dance, Sing For The Moment, Business

Eminem was massive when I was getting into music, and this is just his best album. Encore was good, but this is great.

7. Definitely Maybe – Oasis (1994)

Up In the Sky, Digsy’s Dinner, Slide Away

I feel a strange sense of pride to share a birth year with this album, and Green Day’s Dookie. These highs are offset by the death of Kurt Cobain and the birth of Justin Bieber. Began my love for Oasis.

6. Take This To Your Grave – Fall Out Boy (2003)

Saturday, Grand Theft Autumn, The Pros and Cons of Breathing

If kids now are listening to FOB’s newest album, plus the new song they just released, I hope they listen to this straight afterwards. Proper poppy emo-punk.

5. Shallow Believer – The Used (2008)

Sun Comes Up, Slit Your Own Throat, Tunnel

Like Yellowcard, The Used aren’t one of my favourite bands, but this album is amazing. A rare occasion where I never have to skip a song.

4. Warning – Green Day (2000)

Fashion Victim, Castaway, Deadbeat Holiday

Another CD that spends regular time in my car. Dookie got me into Green Day, Warning got me through school with them. Plus it has Minority on it.

3. Hybrid Theory – Linkin Park (2000)

In The End, One Step Closer, Points of Authority

This album goes back to the ‘dossin out’ days in primary school. Which maybe gives an insight into how why I never went through the chav phase everyone seems to have done.

2. blink-182 – blink-182 (2003)

I’m Lost Without You, Asthenia, Feeling This

My favourite band, one of my favourite album covers, my favourite song from my favourite band, everything about this album is perfect. Blink’s best album by a mile, love it. Not number one though…

1. Use Your Illusion II – Guns N’ Roses (1991)

Estranged, 14 Years, Yesterdays

The top album on the list is also the oldest, shows what I think of new music. Estranged might well be in this position on a top songs list, and it might well be soon if I do one. The last proper Guns album, the best Guns album.

All done! That was harder than I thought, I have come up a list of about 50 since I started this so I might revisit this in a few month’s time.

The first part of this list is below, along with my other lists to date.

My previous lists: Top 10 Actors, Creepy or Common 1, Top 22 Albums 22-11

A list: Top 22 Albums, 22-12

Lists, lists, lists. We all like ranking things because noone has quite the same opinion as the next person, which means conversation, which is always nice.

I love lots of music. I love rock, indie, Britpop, punk, metal, a little hip-hop, and most things in between. I love music so much that when I went through my albums looking for this list, I found 22 albums that I love and couldn’t budge any of them to make it a Top 20, so it’s gone from 10 to 20 to 22, hope that’s alright.

Everyone likes a bit of everything I guess, I like to think I like a lot of most things. Right, crack on.

Like the actors list the rankings at the lower end of the list are pretty irrelevant, I love all these albums so much.

22. Busted – Busted (2002)

Year 3000, Dawson’s Geek, Loser Kid

Starting off the list is the album that takes me back the longest. Everyone loved Busted right? Right? Oh.

21. Ocean Avenue – Yellowcard (2003)

One Year Six Months, Empty Apartment, Believe

Bit of a curveball, but I love this album. Any punk pop type stuff goes down well with me, put some violins on it and you’ve got a right album.

20. Invaders Must Die – The Prodigy (2009)

Run With The Wolves, Warrior’s Dance, Omen

The ultimate party album, for me anyway. Good memories of blasting out Omen back when it got huge.

19. Sorry For Partyin’ – Bowling For Soup (2009)

Love Goes Boom, No Hablo Ingles, My Wena

If Prodigy was the party album this is just the most fun. Even the cover makes me happy.

18. Liberation Transmission – Lostprophets (2006)

4am Forever, Everyday Combat, Can’t Catch Tomorrow

Back in school uniform listening to this. Shame to think that Ian Watkins would have been really into me back then.

17. The Poison – Bullet For My Valentine (2005)

The Poison, Tears Don’t Fall, Cries In Vain

Poor Bullet aren’t quite what they used to be for me, seeing them at Leeds epitomised that. This album is just awesome metal though.

16. Fallen – Evanescence (2003)

My Immortal, My Last Breath, Tourniquet

Look how pretty. An album that is awesome for just sitting and listening to on a boring night time. Plus, look how pretty.

15. Hot Fuss – The Killers (2004)

Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine, Smile Like You Mean It, Andy You’re A Star

How great were The Killers. This is still their only good album to me, but it is so good I don’t really care.

14. The Young and the Hopeless – Good Charlotte (2002)

The Anthem, The Day That I Die, Riot Girl

I had this album on my old Sony Ericsson Walkman back in the day. Great bit of punk pop, still a favourite most-played.

13. The Paramour Sessions – Papa Roach (2006)

SOS, The Fire, No More Secrets

I love everything about this album, from how it was recorded to the bonus tracks. Good live as well.

12. Let Go – Avril Lavigne (2002)

Complicated, Things I’ll Never Say, Mobile

Gotta finish off part one with some Avril. This just beats out Under My Skin as her best album because of singing it loudly in Alex’s living room.

That’s that for now, I’ll finish the list with part 2 sometime soon, copying and pasting all those album covers takes a while.

My previous lists: Top 10 Actors, Creepy or Common 1

A list: Top 10 Actors

I am slightly less upset today, and I thought I’d try something new.

Since I’m in the middle of a big film watching project, I thought I would do a top five to do with films. Everyone likes a list of famous people, so here is one.

Then, when I had five, a sixth popped into my head, and more were brought to my attention, so it’s now a top 10. Jess said 1000-ish words wouldn’t be too long, so blame her if it is.

This is right now a list of my right now favourite actors right now, and why they deserve a place on my list. Rankings are a loose guide to personal favourites, but like stocks my brain can fluctuate, or something. This is also pure opinion based, so don’t yell at me. Internet yelling is the meanest kind of yelling.

Let us begin.

Honourable mentions: Brad Pitt, Jason Bateman, Charlie Sheen, Harvey Keitel, Robert Downey Jr. On another day any of these could have made the list, and probably a couple more besides. All fine actors who I am very much a fan of.

10. Matthew Perry

F.R.I.E.N.D.S, The Whole Nine Yards

The guy is Chandler Bing for goodness sake, I can’t make this list without at least a mention of him. I like Friends, for anyone not familiar with my About page. It’s right there at the top though, just click it. He was the start of my love of overacting to hilarious level in Friends, and despite what other people say I enjoyed The Whole Nine Yards. I’ve yet to see Ten, but did you know Bruce Willis appeared on Friends for free because of a bet he made with Perry on the set of that film? If you read IMDb trivia like me, then you might.

9. Michael C. Hall

Dexter, Gamer, Six Feet Under

Another actor I know and love primarily from TV, I first saw Michael C. Hall in Dexter, then Six Feet Under. Dexter is the loveable killer Hall plays so well, you can’t not side with him. It’s one of the few shows I watch, I’m currently on series 5 and I am very much looking forward to the rest of the seasons. Also plays the bad guy quite well in Gamer, despite it not being the best film. Has a very nice Southern accent.

8. Johnny Depp

Chocolat, Sleepy Hollow, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

I never really cared for Johnny Depp before I saw Chocolat, after which I started to see the charisma and the humour he brings to films. Again, since this isn’t a list based on films actors have been in, the few Depp films I have seen have been really good. Sorry Jess, and every other girl who think he ‘transcends lists’, but he goes number 8 on this one.

7. Leonardo DiCaprio

Django: Unchained, Shutter Island, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

He has been in some of my stinker films, Titanic and Romeo & Juliet spring painfully to mind, but Leonardo DiCaprio is a really talented actor. Not so good with the accents mind you, but that never seems to get in the way of his performances. Shutter Island was brilliant, and he has his part in one of the most shocking film deaths ever in The Departed. Amazing stat I learned recently, Django is the first film in 16 years he hasn’t topped the billing for.

6. Heath Ledger

The Dark Knight, 10 Things I Hate About You, Monster’s Ball

He beats my number 5 at being the greatest comic book villain of all time for me. He also plays his part in making The Dark Knight one of the best films I’ve ever seen, so although I don’t have a massive amount of his work in mind, he goes on this list. 10 Things is one of my favourite films as well, I am not ashamed to admit this. I like how he broke out of that pretty boy mold though, good job he did or TDK might not have been quite as amazing. He also supports my theory that guys look better with longer hair, so that’s good. R.I.P.

5. Jack Nicholson

The Shining, The Departed, Anger Management

Over-acting at its finest. Jack Nicholson is terrific at selling himself as a psychotic weirdo, and I for one admire that. The Shining is deeply unnerving largely down to his ability to flip from acting odd to full-on insanity in a matter of seconds. I love actors that can improvise scenes and dialogue on the spot too, as he does in the axe-smashing Shining scene. The scene in Anger Management with the car on the bridge is side-splitting.

4. Michael Caine

The Italian Job, The Dark Knight, Harry Brown

What is there not to love about Michael Caine? He is just the most loveable guy in the ever. The Italian Job was one of his biggest roles, yet it seems to be being forgotten in the face of roles like Alfred in the Dark Knight trilogy. Such is the drawing power of the man he has remained on top of the movie biz as he heads towards his 80s. And the scene near the end of The Dark Knight Rises? It brought a tear to my eye. It didn’t come out of the eye, because apparently I am an emotionless robot when it comes to film, but still. Legend.

3. Gary Oldman

The Dark Knight, True Romance, Harry Potter

The same ticket applies to Gary Oldman as Michael Caine. What a genuinely likeable guy, he’s someone you just really hope is as nice in real life as your imagination. Also, I’m not sure what other people’s opinions are on this, but I almost fail to recognise him in everything he’s in. Not because he is poor, just because he never looks like Gary Oldman. Think True Romance, Harry Potter, even when I saw him in Friends, playing an actor called Richard Crosby, I thought it was someone called Richard Crosby to start with. He has a great range and is just super cool. He also manages to look good with or without facial hair, which gets automatic respect.

2. Edward Norton

Primal Fear, Fight Club, American History X

Speaking of great ranges, my top two have the same ability to feature in films you wouldn’t expect, judging them by previous work. Number two (lol) is the subject of my ongoing watchlist actor thing, Ed Norton, another guy I just like watching. I’ve already gone over his range, but he goes from criminal to lawyer to priest to singing husband-to-be in the space of a few years in his early career. Then there is the Hulk, and his Fight Club role. He manages to be a stuffy philosopher and a hick stoner in the same film. If that isn’t variety then call me Betty. Only don’t. Also looks good with or without the face fuzz.

1. Jim Carrey

Ace Ventura, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Liar Liar

Seriously, who else? Just in case I was having doubts about this spot going to Norton, I watched an Inside the Actors Studio featuring this guy, and from the minute he runs onto the stage I’m cracking up again. Let’s go through some of my favourite all-time films. Ace Ventura, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Liar Liar, The Mask, Number 23, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Truman Show, Me Myself and Irene, Bruce Almighty, Man on the Moon. His ratio of massive hits to slight disappointments (Dumb and Dumber) is heroic for me. Plus he is a top guy and an excellent stand-up comedian. Not just a funny man anymore, as some of that list proves. B-e-a-utiful.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Creepy or common? Potentially odd things I do

Hey, I’ve been compiling this list for a while now, I’ve always wanted to know if other people did the same weird little things that I do. I’ve ran a couple of these by friends who have confirmed that these are things people do, which makes me feel less creepy about them.

Quick N.B. – a lot of these will be toilet and other movements related, you’ve been warned.

1. Squeeze your nose and be hurt by a spiky bogey, and have to extract it from the nasal area.

2. Hang around in the toilet a little longer than you have to after business.

3. Pass wind under the covers, wait a little while and pull them up to see if the smell is still there.

4. Go from bopping nicely to a song to a full out mosh rave, in your room, by yourself. Possibly giving it Kermit the Frog arms.

5. Smell your hands after various actions throughout the day, just to see what stuff smells like. Then repeat it. Examples being the smell of money on your hands, or if you scratch your area.

6. When walking or looking out of a train/car window with headphones in, pretending you are the singer and this is your video. (Everyone must do this.)

7. Have conversations with yourself, portraying different characters with different accents.

8. Constantly think about death.

9. Bite into cod liver oil pills knowing full well that the ooze that will come out will make you want to vomit.

10. Have vivid visions about what an actual shot to a human head would look like in person, not on a film or TV.

So there we go, a nice list of things I do that I hope others do as well. Because otherwise this is just a list I might as well call ‘Reasons Not To Meet Me.’ I shall start work on another list if anyone actually does any of these things.

Right, off to do 3 and 5. Ta-ra.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack