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Prague 2016!

Another classically late post about something I did months ago. Today, the holiday I went on in January with Emerald…

I can’t even remember if I put the photos from Krakow up on here last year, I certainly meant to. Anyway, this will be pretty much the same as what I hope I did with that trip, more pics, minimal droning from me.

And if I didn’t remember Krakow, expect that along with Harry Potter Studios later on this week…

Luckily these are all in order on my laptop! Makes things easier. First up I have to say we almost spent our holiday in Manchester, we got stuck in traffic for 2 3/4 hours on the way. A burning shortbread lorry nearly cost us our flight in classic England fashion. We got to the airport with about 45 minutes to get parked, through customs and find the gate. Positive side, no waiting around in the terminal for hours!

So we made it, and we made more than one trip to this awesome comic book store between our hotel and the town centre. As well as these really cool busts of Iron Man they had a whole bunch of figurines and clothing and general merchandise. Oh and lots of comic books. They were Czech though obviously.

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This was where Emerald got a very nice Star Wars jacket and I got a Watchmen hat. There is below a three floor musicy comicy clothesy place in town that was very rock and very exciting.

I also got a Sparta Prague shirt to go with my Poland shirt from Krakow so that was very exciting for me. Anyway, now here are all the pictures of nice looking things, starting with all the ones I found of the town square and the buildings in it. We had two full days there and spent six hours wandering around both days.

There were a lot of Segway people wandering around renting out Segways for some reason. We did not take one. Oh also there was a bubble man blowing lots of bubbles!

Also also every hour on the hour the astronomical clock (bottom middle and top right) chimed and a little Death came out of the top and rang an equally little bell.

On our last full day there, we had another wander through the town, but we came across a couple of fun museums that we walked through and got a few pictures. One was a torture museum, the other one was a wax museum. Let’s see them now.

Not a lot of information or tour guide type things going on, but it was about £5 to go through it and was pretty fun.

The wax museum was cool, halfway through where the sports players are there was a lifesize Pong you can play by controlling the paddles with your hands. We both sucked at it.

Most of these are Emerald being very silly with waxworks, which I assume we’re all okay with. I also apologise if some of the pictures turn out quite small, WordPress has put in a new feature that makes adding lots of pictures easier but arranges them in a weird random mosaic. Also, yes that is a football goal in a urinal.

Another lovely experience we had was at the Cafe Louvre, somewhere Albert Einstein used to go and be in. They had tasty cake and turtles in a tank!

Lastly, this was the view from the top of the tower in the square. Prague is such a lovely city and everyone should go and look around.

It was actually quite warm for January, and we could not throw money away for the life of us. I brought about a third of my spending money back, and I was walking around on the last day actively trying to spend it.

So them’s all my pics, I’ll go back and make sure Krakow is up and if it is then Harry Potter Studios will be next. The hotel was really nice too, byeeeee.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Krakow 2015 :)

Hello again!

It’s been ages, a good 20 days since my last post. Since then I’ve been working lots, and had a holiday!

Now I have two days off, it’s payday and I’ve already spent a buttload of money on Christmas presents and my car, so I thought I’d do something free and write about my hols to Poland with Emerald.

It started swimmingly. I got a small amount of sleep in before we set off at about 1:30am. The journey down to Liverpool went by fine, until we got to a closed off section of the motorway and got diverted around to the road leading into the south of the city, where our directions became useless.

We were leaving the car at Alex’s house in Liverpool, and he would take us to the airport. When we got into Liverpool he gave us the wrong postcode and had to come and collect us to take us to his house to take us to the airport. Confusing. Also we literally drove past the airport on the way to his house.

So we got to John Lennon Airport, drove into the car park to get dropped off about 5:30am. Alex then couldn’t get out again because he needed to pay for the barrier and had no wallet, so I had to run over and get that sorted.

After that everything went perfectly, flight was around 7:30 and we got into Krakow for lunchtime.

We spent the first day settling in to our awesome hotel room (Aparthotel Leone, if anyone wants to go), and wandering around near the hotel. We found a supermarket where noone spoke English unfortunately, and a little cafe where you could get a meal and what might as well be a teapot full of tea for £3.

Pretty much everything there is crazy value for money, except the brand name shops because obviously. Emerald did pick up a pair of Vans for £30 though.

Monday it snowed all day, which was fine it made the place look all pretty and we were wrapped up nice and warm.DSC_0028

This was the view nice and early Monday morning from our hotel. Gonna jump into a few pictures since they’re much better than me just describing everything.

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This was our first tourist stop, Wawel Castle (and Emerald in the corner doing some mad films). All the snow made it super picturesque and lovely to walk around, which made up for a lot of the exhibits being closed. We had a wander round here through the armory and another place I have totally blanked on. No pictures from there because they aren’t allowed, but Emerald got some clips in there for her film because she’s an international criminal apparently. I got some good shots of the outside though, the two here are my faves.

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Came out through the Dragon’s Den, was too cold for the big dragon they had outside to breathe fire, but the river was right over the road and looked very serene in the white wintery white.

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After the castle we still had loads of the day left to have an explore, so we decided to have a wander into the Grand Market Square, the biggest of its kind IN THE WORLD.

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Pretty sure it was called Grand Market Square…

There were cafes and shops and little souvenir places that sold souvenirs that you might actually want. We even found a little rock and metal stall with a bunch of shirts and Zippos and belts that were cool.

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There was also this big long open air market in the centre of the square. Every single stall had at least one showcase of amber coloured jewellery.

On our other full day in the city we took a bus out to the Wieliczka Salt Mines, full of salt and 800 stairs to go down.

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The mines were amazing, we spent a couple of hours down there covering 1% of them. Our tour guide was really nice and funny and taught us a lot about the history of the place. They have all kinds of sculptures and carvings and all sorts down there, and some really cool chandeliers made partly of salt.

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The most impressive and beautiful part of the tour was just after the gift shop area (so weird seeing ancient stone work behind a vending machine hundreds of feet underground).

A huge cathedral looking room with an altar, 3D carvings in the walls and a statue of Pope John Paul II was the highlight of the day, near the end of the tour.

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I have loads more photos from the mines and a few more of the castle, which will go up on a separate post to have them all on show if anyone wants to see them.

Again, the salt mine tour was early in the morning, so just like Monday we had half a day to wander around and explore so we went through the square again to a huge shopping mall, to see if we good get any decent deals compared to back home. Emerald got her Vans and a jumper, I got a nice wooly scarf but there wasn’t much in the way of bargains there, especially compared the rest of the city.

We both got a few cool presents for people, and we got a beastly mug each for tea and things like more tea. I also finally own a Jakub Blaszczykowski shirt, found one for £30 on the way back to the hotel.

So we flew back early Wednesday, had a chill at Alex’s and drove back home so Emerald could get ready for a gig that evening. Krakow is an amazing city, two and a half days was plenty of time to pack in a lot of stuff, it was cheap, the hotel was nice, most of the people are lovely, and I’m sure we will go back one day!

Picture edition of holiday post will go up soon, can’t wait for another holiday next year, Guinness in Dublin sounds very tempting.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Summerslam results! Darren vs Emerald

If anyone hasn’t heard, last week I teamed up with Emerald to have a little Summerslam competition. Well, it’s time to see who won!

This hopefully won’t be as achingly wordy as the prediction post, so I’ll save thoughts on the matches and event as a whole for during/after.

Right then, let’s jump straight in!

Sheamus def. Randy Orton (DH 0-0 EM)

Good start, so the whole ‘Sheamus will lose and cash in’ plan was out the window before half 11. Also Emerald predicted an announce table breaking for this match – albeit before we knew it was on first.


The New Day def. Prime Time Players, Lucha Dragons & Los Matadores (0-0)

Meh, tag teams. Dudley Boys are back though! Sad PTP lost. Next!


Dolph Ziggler vs Rusev ended double countout (0-0)

I probably should’ve predicted that these predictions would go badly. Also this match, ending especially, was just unexciting.


Stephen Amell & Neville def. Stardust & King Barrett (1-0)

I got one right! I thought the celebrity had to win, but what a performance by Arrow person! Doing kicks and jumping and stuff.


Ryback (c) def. Big Show & Miz (2-1)

To be honest I was outside for the first half of this match, but it looked a fun little filler match that didn’t exploit Show and Ryback’s flaws. Everyone came out looking pretty good.


Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose def. Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper (2-2)

Emerald pegs me back, sadly. Not happy about the finish, Reigns got an even harsher reception than usual for some reason, but I definitely think if Reigns & Ambrose were going to win they had to be pinning Harper, not Wyatt.


Seth Rollins (c) def. John Cena (c) (2-3)

Well I could not have been more wrong, so despite Emerald’s unhappiness at picking Rollins she was right. New double champ though! Exciting, I shall see if he still has both titles at whatever the next PPV is.


Team PCB def. Team Bella & Team B.A.D. (3-4)

Slightly above the standard Diva match. Wrestling quality is way better, still failing to care.


Kevin Owens def. Cesaro (4-4)

The penultimate match, and I bring it back! This was probably my favourite match wrestling wise, but like the Diva match it didn’t feel like it had any emotion to it.


Undertaker def. Brock Lesnar (4-5)

Aaaaand, my ridiculous decision to throw a Lesnar curveball in lost me our first blog-related wrestling post. Yes. Although, TECHNICALLY, Taker tapped out (!!!) so Lesnar should’ve won. The whole ending made a great match into a bit of a farce, until Lesnar flipped off Taker and passed out.



 

Winner: Emerald!

Undertaker’s laugh. Just had to say that. Lesnar-Undertaker, Cena-Rollins and Owens- Cesaro were my favourite matches, in that order, Shield-Wyatt coming in just behind them.

Cool, all done. Still really late but earlier than the Wrestlemania one!

I’ll see if Emerald wants to add anything here, until then I may even get another post fired on here today.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Summerslam Predictions – Darren vs Emerald

This is a suuuuuper long post, but bear with us here.

Finally the card for Summerslam is (presumably) completed, so I brought Emerald back to do what we were planning on doing before the questioning thing: A full card prediction for THE BIGGEST PARTY OF THE SUMMER. Or something.

So we did, here it is. If you can’t be bothered reading some of it, the best matches are towards the bottom, to keep everyone hooked while we are being hilarious banterers.

We also thought it would be fun to do a little competition, so let’s see on Monday who has the most correct predictions. Let us begin! (All the bad language is from Emerald, so be warned there actually is some in one of my posts for the first time ever probably. And it starts almost immediately.)

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No caption necessary.

Let’s do this!

Dolph Ziggler vs Rusev

EM: I think, they’re both fairly shit, and I don’t really care what happens in this match because the only thing that I’ll be able to think of is the fact that Rusev’s not even from Russia. That’s stupid. And Dolph Ziggler, his highest point was when AJ cut all of his stuff up on stage. Nothing’s ever gonna be as entertaining as that.

Winner: I don’t know the writers, but I’m gonna say Ziggler.

DH: Ziggler is awesome by the way.

EM: He looks like the missing person from LMFAO.

DH: I’ll probably be starting with the let’s go Cena chants at this point so I won’t be paying much attention. I really like Ziggler, but I don’t really know any background. Sooooo…. I’m going to be boring and say Ziggler as well.

Winner: Ziggler


Team Bella vs Team BAD vs PCB

EM: To be honest the only reason that I won’t be viewing this as a bathroom break is because Paige. I like Paige. So I’m going to say on a hopeful note, that Paige and the other two bitches on her team win.

Winners: PCB

DH: Well I know that PCB, which by the way is a stupid name, I know they changed it because it shared a name with like, a porn channel but still. I know they’ve won like the last couple of matches that I watched but I like Paige and I like the Irish one so I want them to win. This is boring.

Winners: PCB


Kevin Owens vs Cesaro

EM: Going to say Cesaro to win because I think someone called Kevin Owens sounds like he should work at Tesco and not WWE. Disclaimer: I’m not saying anything bad about people that work at Tesco; I really like their sandwiches. Or people called Kevin Owens.

Winner: Cesaro

DH: So, from here on in I think it’s going to be less boring because I think Kevin Owens is going to win. Because he’s awesome…Cesaro’s awesome too…but I think Kevin Owens is going to win. But it’s going to be one of the two best matches of the night.

Winner: Kevin Owens


Stephen Amell & Neville vs Stardust & King Barrett

EM: I’m going to say, Stardust & King Barrett to win because they’re more experienced. They can’t have a King lose (logic) and I like Stardust’s costume (slightly less logic).

Winners: Stardust & King Barrett

DH: Well i’m going to say the other two. Whoever they are *is waving arms profusely* the guy is from Arrow and Neville’s finishing move is called the Red Arrow! Probably, I think. I like that, plus its WWE so they’ll let the famous person win.

Winners: Arrow & Red Arrow!


Prime Time Players (c) vs Los Matadores vs The Lucha Dragons vs The New Day

EM: I really don’t give a fuck about this match. There’s too many people going to be in the ring and I just can’t keep up with it. That’s it.

Winners: The Lucha Dragons They sound funky let’s say them. (Logic has pretty much left the building at this point.)

DH: I also don’t care about this match. But I like the Prime Time Players, I don’t understand how any other team has just magically got a shot and this seems to be pretty much the whole division. So I’m gonna say Primetime Players because “millions a dollas millions a dollas millions a dollas”

Winners: Prime Time Players


Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper vs Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns

EM: Roman Reeeeigns and Dean Ambroooose. -starts kissing her phone case and rubbing it on her face.- Roman Reigns is bae. (Roman Reigns is on the back of her phone case.) I’m very excited to see Reigns and Ambrose together without that dickhead Seth Rollins. I do like Bray Wyatt, I do, but for this particular match I’m gonna be in my Reigns t-shirt, rooting for Reigns. I think Darren and I are going to have to sit on opposite ends of the table for this match because I know Darren’s going to want Wyatt to win but I think we’re just going to have to lay it on the table now that were separate to be rooting for the other person but console each other and be happy for each other whoever wins, and not rub it in the other one’s face.

Winners: Shield 2.0

DH: So obviously I want the Wyatts to win because I like them. I like Bray, he’s my favourite. I know that Bray beat Reigns at Battleground so I think Reigns and Ambrose are going to win. But I’m going to have my Wyatt t-shirt on and I’m going to be supporting them so I’m going to say they’re going to win. And I think that’s going to be the other best match.

Winners: Redneck City (I do like Ambrose very much, and Reigns too but not quite as much.)


Ryback (c) vs Big Show vs The Miz

EM: Ryback because out of those three he’s ma fav. To be honest I think Miz’ll just be a bit of an annoyance in that match. The other two are massive, he’ll bounce off them and get hurt and that’ll be him out and then once he’s out of the ring the real men can get down to business.

Winner: Ryback

DH: So I also think Ryback, but I also like the Miz. I think he’s good at talking and stuff. The Big Show is just painful to watch now most of the time. The match he had with Roman Reigns was good. But yeah, I want to see Ryback have the title for a while and I think he’ll win. Also he’s got a really weird shaped head, Do you not think? He’s got like a mohican made out of head.

Winner: Ryback


 

John Cena (c) vs Seth Rollins (c)

EM: I really don’t know. I feel like the writers are just lazy letting Cena win all the time, and I don’t like Cena, his legs are like the exact same length as his body, and it makes it look like he’s shit himself as he’s walking. And I don’t like his hat, I don’t think he’s a very nice person I think he’s a complete control freak, but I also hate Seth Rollins because he’s a big fat betrayer and as much as I want someone to beat Cena I don’t want it to be Rollins, but I don’t think they’d put Cena up against Rollins if that wasn’t the turning point to Cena losing a big match. So I’m going to say I think… that Rollins will win, but I’m not saying that I’m happy about it.

Winner: Seth Rollins (still not happy about it.)

DH: Right, before you start with your faces and stuff, John Cena has very good to match of the year matches with everyone.

EM: Can I just say before you start with your speech about all the things that make Cena great that I’m not interested in the life and time of John Cena just make your prediction and we will move on from this point in our lives.

DH: I hear what you’re saying, but no. You’ve said your piece, all I’m going to say is he continuously has great matches, recently he always seems to be trying new stuff. Most of the time when he talks it still annoys me, and also I think Seth Rollins is really good, He’s been really good in the ring and really good as like a whiny bad guy and I like that.

Winner: I think it’d be really cool to see someone with two belts at once but I don’t think it’s the right time for either of them to lose theirs so I’m going to say Cena wins by DQ.


Randy Orton vs Sheamus

EM: I like them both. I like Orton, I think he’s really good. Love a good RKO, we all know this. And I love Sheamus I think his whole character’s brilliant, and he recently got his septum pierced like me, and my hair needs redone so right now it is a bit orange. And he’s been really funny lately, so I don’t really have a preference I just hope it’s an enjoyable match to watch, and I hope wrestling wins. But I think what’s going to happen is that Orton will win, and then Sheamus will cash in.

Winner: Orton but it doesn’t really matter cos Sheamus will cash in.

DH: Ok, I don’t think Sheamus is going to cash in and thinking about it that would suck to see someone have two belts for like 5 minutes, but I think Sheamus won’t cash in tonight because I want him to have it for a while, the briefcase. I still think Orton’s going to win though, so they can tease a cash in later.

Winner: Orton


Brock Lesnar vs Undertaker

EM: -sigh.- -bigger sigh.- I don’t know. I don’t see why they’d have this match again if the outcome was going to be the same, and I would like it if Undertaker came back and won, I think that’s what everyone wanted at WrestleMania. Maybe they’ve just had that many letters of complaints that they’re going to rectify that tragedy. And I’d love them to stop selling those Eat Sleep Break The Streak t-shirts.

Winner: Undertaker

DH: Ok, I think that you made lots of sense, it doesn’t really make sense for Undertaker to come back and lose. I do think he sounded a little bit whiny when he came back the night after Battleground. And anyone else coming back and attacking Lesnar would have been booed, but I kind of want him to come back with the biker gimmick. That’d be awesome, and since it makes no sense for Lesnar to win I’m going to have to say that Lesnar’s going to win. BECAUSE CURVEBALL.

Winner: Lesnar



EMERALD’S FINAL THOUGHTS: I’m excited for Summerslam this year. I really hope Reigns finally wins and that I’ll really enjoy the Shield vs Wyatts match but the best match overall will be Lesnar vs Undertaker. Cena is a cunt. Reigns rules all. Wrestling is awesome. I hope they have nachos.

DARREN’S FINAL THOUGHTS:  I just want to say that I also think Sheamus looks awesome since he came back, love the beard braids. The best match for me will be Wyatts-Shield and the whole card in general looks really good.

So, who will win the first blog competition? Leave your comments on who made the better predictions! Oh wait, I’m not famous, I won’t be able to get away with that. Never mind, do it anyway, if you made it this far what’s writing one more word gonna do?

See you after Summerslam!

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Being interviewed

Studying journalism for three years I am used to doing interviews, so it was fun when Emerald asked me some questions the other night for her blog.

My questions for her are already on here, but I wanted to share her post as well so people can see what a hilarious/infuriating comedian/moron I am. Delete as appropriate.

So here it is below! Enjoy, I’ll be back at some point.

Darren: Interviewed – http://wp.me/p5g3Wx-w

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack

Ten questions with Emerald

Well last night I suggested to Emerald that we do my Summerslam prediction post together to add a little competition to the guessing.

After a slight bit of research we discovered only one match had been announced, Lesnar v Undertaker.

So instead we decided to ask each other some questions and post each other’s answers on each other’s blog. This intro is being polished off on my phone, but I’ll link to her page/post later on. So here we go!

What is my favourite music?

“Your favourite music? Blink 182, punk goes pop, or is it pop goes punk? and Green Day, and Taylor Swift. But when alternative bands cover popular chart music that’s your fav. In your last life you really really liked the haka though. That’s got music with it hasn’t it?”

What is the first thing you noticed about me?

“The drunk time or the sober time? whichever one was first. Probably the drunk time but I didnt speak to you much then, the sober time i can fully remember. I remember that you were really tall, and that you had a nice smile, AND I REALLY LIKED YOUR CURLY HAIR (excitedly).”

What is one talent I have?

“You’re a good writer, you’re a good driver, and you’re really really funny, you always make me laugh.”

Do I have any weird obsessions?

“Taylor Swift. That’s weird enough. It’s not weird that you like her, it’s weird how much you like her. Why? Because she doesnt fit in with the rest of the things that you like, and I think if you met her in real life she’s not the type of person you’d get along with. She seems really boring. Like a wet paper bag, just a bit mushy, not much substance. Why do i have to be careful? Is Taylor Swift following your blog? Is she gonna write a song about me because of one time when I dissed her? She probably would, it’s Taylor Swift. (laughs)”

Who wears the pants?

“I don’t think either of us do. I think that, I have more ideas and opinions on things, but then nine times out of ten you agree with me anyway, and when you don’t agree with me, we just work it out anyway. We’re good at compromising!”

What do we argue about the most?

“Taylor Swift. (laughs again). Wrestling, and my heritage.”

If you could be any animal what animal would you be?

-long pause- (not her characters name) “It’s so hard to choose just oneeeee, cos I’d like to be able to fly, but I don’t want to be a bird, and I’d like to be an otter because they sleep holding hands, but I don’t like water. I think I think a monkey like a squirrel monkey because they’re really little but they can climb really high and I like to climb. The animal that I’d least like to be would be one of those fish that eats peoples feet. I just wanted to get that out there.”

Describe yourself in a film/song title.

“You do realise these questions were supposed to be about you right?” Yes. “And you just decided not to do that?” Yes. -long pause- “Can i have two? No I don’t need two. Erm… ermm erm.”

-five minutes later-

“Francis Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle. Just cos it’s really wordy and unnecessary.”

If I was an animal what would I be?

“I’ve told you this before, you’d be a puppy, like a dog that still thinks it’s a puppy, like a very lolloppy dog, one that their tongue hangs out all the time, not because they need to but because they’re too happy to put it back in. And you wouldn’t chase anything you’d just be chilled. And you’d always want your belly rubbed.”

Pick your dream six-band festival day. For both of us.

“Sigh. Oasis. Fall Out Boy. Can they be dead? Not at the show, can I pick people that are dead now?” Yes. “Yes. Not sure if I’m going to pick someone that’s dead, just checking. Slipknot. There’s a moth in the room. Oh it’s unnerving. -gets distracted and yawns- How many am I on, three?”

-another five minutes later-

“Nirvana. Prodigy. Aaand, see I was going to pick three bands I like and three you like but then I tried to do six bands we both like, otherwise I’d put Taylor Swift on it for you. Linkin Park!”

And there we are, this has been a thoroughly enjoyable hour and a half and we will have to do more stuff like this, maybe here maybe YouTube, who knows!

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack