Star Wars

Happy New Year!

Last night was the first year I can remember where I didn’t end up watching Jools Holland.

Instead at Emerald’s I watched Hogmanay from Glasgow, obviously. Wish we could’ve been in Edinburgh watching Biffy Clyro, but Emerald’s house is warm and not £60 for the night.

Before that, we finally went to see The Force Awakens. Instead of doing a normal boring wordy post, I have a few points that came to me during the film, so I’ll share those in the hope I am agreed with.

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Spoilers below, obviously. I managed to make it two weeks from release without finding out any details, so if you still haven’t seen it then stop reading silly, the post is called Star Wars why did you even start?

I’m doing my best to record my thoughts at the time in the order I thought them. I can’t remember my own hair colour sometimes, so if it’s slightly non-chronological then oops.

Straight away, Stormtrooper blood. Already taking Star Wars in a gritty real dark modern gritty direction.

Kylo Ren looks awesome.

The new droid is quite funny, but BB-8 isn’t quite as iconic a name as R2-D2 or C-3PO. Although I suppose it’s not nearly 40 years old.

Also it seems to have more feelings than a droid should have. Blaming Disney.

I don’t think that pilot guy died in that crash, not sure why he ended up far away from the fighter without his jacket though.

OH MY GOD IT’S THE MILLENNIUM FALCON!

OH MY GOD IT’S HAN AND CHEWIE I CAN’T TAKE THIS NOSTALGIA.

A random Scottish man appeared.

Some random Asian men appeared.

Some giant weird creatures escaped and attacked all the people.

Chewie got shot. I don’t know what to do.

He’s okay it’s fine. If he dies I’m walking out.

Not a lot happened until Rey (Ray?) wanders into Luke’s lightsaber and some cool visions happen.

The bit with Luke and R2 from the trailer with his robot hand was so cool.

I think Rey is related to Luke somehow. I hope not, everyone seems to be related in this universe.

Resistance has arrived, here comes Leia.

Han and Leia.

Hahaha I’ve never been so happy to see C-3PO.

R2 is broken, he misses Luke doesn’t he :(.

Oh the First Order have a Death Planet. I hope noone sends a small fighter in to exploit its inevitable weak point.

So Rey has the Force, yeah she’s probably related to Luke.

Daniel Craig alert! Wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t been put on alert beforehand.

Ren’s being all vulnerable and weak, is he not pretty much a Sith Lord? What is this?

Aha, the Rebels have devised a plan to attack the weak spot of the Empire’s space station.

Oh wait.

Leia wants Han to bring their son back. Han’s going to die isn’t he?

Oh yeah I didn’t mention Kylo Ren is Han and Leia’s son. That Vader mask was epic.

Now they’re sneaking around the enemy ship, and trying to get the shields down for their ships overhead. I’d swear I’ve seen this before.

Chewie picked up a jacket for Han because he was cold. I love that wookie.

Chewie don’t die.

Han and Chewie are splitting up. One of them is going to die.

Don’t die Chewie.

Sad wookie noises.

Ben!

Don’t die Han, don’t go on that bridge.

Shit.

He won’t turn him good he’s the only cool villain in the whole film.

Dead. Liam Neeson x Emperor style.

Get him Chewie! Get him with your laser crossbow!

Saber battles. Pew pew. Rey wins, not sure why her and Finn can just use lightsabers nearly as well/better than Ren.

Death Star III is kaput.

All the people I care about are sad, apart from Han. Han is dead.

Rey is off to find Luke, looks like Ireland.

Big epic shot of Rey and Luke was kind of underwhelming. His robot hand looks less cool now.

End. Not happy.

Pretty sure that’s everything that I thought while watching, there were a lot of cool moments and up to Han dying it was brilliant.

One or two of the old characters dying is something I can deal with but not Han, in the first film of the trilogy, with hardly any screen time with Leia and no scene with him and Luke.

Apart from that, I think all was well, I’d put it up there just below the originals. Will probably go and watch again, might update as and when.

Happy 2016 all.

Have a nice year, bang bang!

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About Darren Hyland

If I don't see you, good afternoon good evening and goodnight! Check the About Darren page for a bit more on me.

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