Champions League LIVE: Valencia v PSG

Here goes another instalment of my LIVE blogging series, tonight is Champions League night, and since Celtic v Juventus is either on ITV or behind the red button I’m going with Valencia v Team Ibra aka PSG.

Hopefully there won’t be any skipping and jumping like the last game I did this with, and since I’m watching from my Xbox it should be way smoother. As last time I will try and include something extra than just the happenings. Here we go.

1. Hmm, Richard Keys narrating the Football’s Greatest that was on before this, interesting.

2. Cannot bloody contain myself for Real v United tomorrow.

3. Let’s see PSG’s ridiculous line-up, haven’t seen much of them this year.

4. Forgot they had Beckham.

5. Managed to hurt my knee from being sat down. I miss when I was fit and could move around painlessly.

6. Valencia used to be my second Spanish team behind Atletico. That’s right, I was that footbally I had two Spanish teams.

7. No Thiago Silva, damn. Lucas Moura though, featuring in 100% of my LIVEs so far.

8. It’s not ‘Valenthia’, it just isn’t.

9. Not the worst team PSG are putting out there tonight, Sirigu; Jallet, Alex, Sakho, Maxwell; Verratti, Matuidi; Lucas, Pastore; Ibrahimovic, Lavezzi. Valencia go: Guaita; Joao Pereira, Rami, Ricardo Costa, Guardado; Feghouli, Ever, Parejo, Tino Costa, Jonas; Soldado.

10. Spanish people can say ‘th’ instead of ‘c’. We can’t.

11. Woo found a book for my essay, source number one.

12. Valencia have kicked off.

13. Sirigu’s keeper kit is rather fetching, love an all pink kit.

14. Lucas is ‘injured’ already, good start.

15. PSG really do have a FIFAtastic team.

16. Not a lot is happening, here come PSG though.

17. Never mind.

18. Ibra just did some lovely skill I can’t describe, got the ball away before he was swiped down and Lucas Moura hit the post with a great shot.

19. What a goal Lavezzi, first bit of action in either box. Glided past two defenders and smashed it past the keeper from an angle.

20. Harsh commentary criticising Guaita for not saving that, shot was travelling at some pace.

21. Sakho being brave at the other end gets caught in the head by Soldado.

22. So Juve are winning too?

23. Back and forward in midfield since the goal, my essay is coming along badly though.

24. Those steep-tiered Spanish stadiums look awesome.

25. Chance for Banega edge of the box from a poor Jallet header but it’s never going in.

26. Great ball in from Pereira is scrambled away and Valencia are making this a real good contest.

27. Looked like an obvious handball by Banega but he went on, ball fired into the PSG box again.

28. 63% possession Valencia in the first 25 minutes.

29. Ibra update: taking time out from the match to tie his boots up a bit better.

30. Verratti got through but never looked like going it alone, waited and waited played Ibra wide and Lucas skies the cross.

31. Lavezzi goes down like a sack of something from a strong but well won clean challenge, moments later he is well recovered, which is nice.

32. Verratti and Pereira booked for being silly billies.

33. No idea what Pastore is like, don’t think I’ve ever seen him play before tonight.

34. I miss Javier Saviola, go back to LMA Manager 2007 and he always my first transfer on the list.

35. Pastore links up nicely with Lavezzi who shoots into Guaita’s body.

36. Commentator continues his unfair barrage on Guaita after that save.

37. Lucas Moura is so fast it is stupid.

38, He’s just been described as a Rolls Royce because he is fast, not sure I agree there. Surely Ibra is PSG’s Roller?

39. Ibra update: waving his arms around standing in the centre circle.

40. Easy as you like for PSG, Lucas makes more defenders look like fools and Pastore hits it through Gaita. Hasn’t covered himself in glory there. 2-0 to PSG.

41. Valencia could do with nicking one back before half time.

42. Forced a couple of corners but it’s half time. Valencia 0-2 PSG HT.

43. Carlisle always seem to be losing whenever I check on them.

44. Valencia brought on Valdez and Canales for the second half for Jonas and Banega. Two up top Valencia now.

45. Ball nearly sat up for Canales, Jallet clears.

46. Sirigu goes horizontal to deal with a cross he could’ve caught, never mind.

47. Valencia have now forced three corners in a row. A goal early in the half and they’re back in the tie.

48. Lucas has gone off, Chantome is on. could be a niggly injury forcing Lucas off, he’s been one of the best players out there.

49. PSG being overrun again but still break menacingly and win a free kick wide left.

50. Essay is done for the day, 500 words of rubbish. Full attention on screen now.

51. Lavezzi looks happier tonight than he does playing for Carlisle on my Football Manager.

52. I just won the FA Cup, League Cup and finished 3rd in the Prem. There’s no pleasing some people.

53. I bet Valencia are still dominating the stats but haven’t had one clear chance.

54. Of course they create a great chance right there. Soldado was in behind 12 yards out but his touch went behind him, then Ibra’s shot rebounded straight to Lavezzi who puts the ball wide from six yards out.

55. Dominating on every stat other than shots, this is why it’s 0-2.

56. Verratti was going to be my brilliant future project development on my FIFA career, until I realised I got bored after pre-season.

57. Lavezzi just chipped the ball straight to Guaita when sliding it round him would have put the game away. Great ball from Verratti.

58. Ibra gives it to Lavezzi, his return pass is just about cut out by Guaita, which naturally garners more stick from the commentators.

59. This kind of goalkeeping performance is what I’m dreading from De Gea tomorrow.

60. Feghouli makes space and crosses straight to Sirigu.

61. Feghouli is one of the better names in football in my opinion.

62. Ibra watch: unhappy with Lavezzi, appears to be for merely watching Ibra lose the ball and not caring to lend a hand. How rude.

63. Speak of the Ibra, just missed a great chance before Chantome put the ball in from an offside position.

64. Valencia now want a penalty, match getting faster and faster.

65. Hmm, PSG unlucky with the offside goal, defender touched it back to Chantome.

66. Meanwhile Ibra smashes a free kick into the top tier of the Mestilla. Seems unperturbed.

67. Valencia’s best chance comes and goes, Valdez goes just wide of the top corner. Tight angle, but close enough to warrant a shot on target.

68. Lavezzi departs with one goal instead of the two or three he could have had, on comes Menez.

69. Last ten mins, any more goals?

70. Another sub, Soldado was going off, but now isn’t any more. Feghouli is gone, Viera is on.

71. The amount of time Valencia have spent 30 yards or so out from the PSG goal is startling, considering Sirigu has barely done anything.

72. PSG keeper just made a decent save from a free kick.

73. Ibra watch: seems bored of chasing defenders, preferring to stand and wait for full time.

74. Pastore goes off for Armand, another player I signed on Football Manager. Much more content than Lavezzi.

75. Another decent free kick position, now then now then Rami has scored!

76. Tino Costa’s delivery is good, Rami pokes it in from four yards.

77. One of those set pieces had to count in the end, hope for the Paris return leg for Valencia.

78. Ibra watch: completes his less than vintage performance with a typically lazy but dangerous high stamp and is dismissed.

79. That goal coupled with Ibra and Verratti now suspended blows the return leg apart.

80. And that is that, Ibra couldn’t wait a minute for the final whistle. Valencia all over the possession, no chance of going through until the final stages. Good game, if somewhat devoid of incident, save Ibra’s stupid red card. Valencia 1-2 PSG FT.

81. Hello Kevin Bacon.

82. Is it just me or is PSG’s badge really small on the shirt?

Nearly another round number, oh well. Hopefully I can catch up on the Celtic game now before bed, staring at screens all day is so tiring.

Brief thoughts, Verratti man of the match, Ibra was on the outskirts of the game throughout, Soldado, Lavezzi and Lucas were good.

Tomorrow, films! If I get time to write amid getting a netball report, a lecture and a train before hitting the pub for 6ish.

Have a nice day, bang bang! – Cactus Jack


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About Darren Hyland

If I don't see you, good afternoon good evening and goodnight! Check the About Darren page for a bit more on me.

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